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birthrightgreenDamn, sugar. You do like to cut to the heart of it. Truth of the matter is, I've had sex with hundreds of men over the centuries. It was my job, or at least the job I was publicly known for, and I was very skilled at it. I had regulars. Men I even enjoyed a companionable relationship with, who made the job enjoyable. For three hundred and seventy years or so I was one of the most sought after whores in all the Territories of Terreille.
But I never had a lover until I moved to Kaeleer.
Hell's night, I'm not completely sure I had more than one or two friends either. Tersa and Daemon. And I ruined things with Daemon for a good fifty years. At least that is behind us now.
It wasn't that I couldn't have had a lover, you understand. But in my professions, such attachments are risks. Liabilities. Weaknesses. And to allow a male in that close would be suicide anyway. I saw what they did to my mother. I saw the perversions they perpetuated upon the Blood. I felt what the man wanted when he speared me at twelve years old, and I learned to hate them in the three years I spent whoring on the streets. What incentive was there for me to take a lover?
But Kaeleer was different. Is different. Men seemed different here, at least. They serve, and they remember what that means. I met Uncle Saetan and Lucivar and the rest of the First Circle. I saw Daemon ease, find himself in his freedom, emerge from his madness.
There was an Erieyn. Falonar. He shared my bed the night after a fight, and with Uncle Saetan's permission, became my lover. He invited me to share his eriye. He was a warrior. Skilled and dangerous. And he made me feel...special.
But I wasn't what he wanted. Oh, the fact that I'd been a whore galled him sometimes, I think, but he enjoyed my skills well enough. It was my other skills that stuck in his throat. I was a competitor. I was skilled with a knife and as an assassin, I don't really give my prey a warning that I'm coming. Kind of defeats the purpose, wouldn't you say? Falonar was fine with a woman knowing how to use a weapon, but I'm a killer. It's what I do. And I wear darker Jewels than he does, so he had no hope of ever being stronger than me.
That's not so bad for most of our world, but he wanted someone to protect. Someone who needed him. Someone with...gentler talents than mine.
He couldn't say so, though. I am a Grey-Jeweled witch, skilled with a knife, and related to the Warlord Prince of Ebon Rih and the High Lord of Hell. He'd be a fool to cast me out, and he knew it. So I spared him that dilemma. I packed my bags and left. Went back to the Hall, and then to stay in Amdarh. Calmed my male relatives from hunting for his balls. Smiled and danced and went to the theatre and acted like nothing was wrong.
But it bruised a bit.
And I learned a valuable lesson.
I don't know that a romantic partner is something I'm looking for. Males are generally more trouble than they're worth. But if I come across one that seems likely, he'll need to be strong. Sure of himself. Not looking for a damsel in distress to protect. Understanding of my power and my skills. Someone worth spending my time and energy on who isn't going to go all growly male when I want to work on my skill with a blade.
Gotta tell you, sugar, I'm pretty sure all such specimens of manhood are taken.
But I never had a lover until I moved to Kaeleer.
Hell's night, I'm not completely sure I had more than one or two friends either. Tersa and Daemon. And I ruined things with Daemon for a good fifty years. At least that is behind us now.
It wasn't that I couldn't have had a lover, you understand. But in my professions, such attachments are risks. Liabilities. Weaknesses. And to allow a male in that close would be suicide anyway. I saw what they did to my mother. I saw the perversions they perpetuated upon the Blood. I felt what the man wanted when he speared me at twelve years old, and I learned to hate them in the three years I spent whoring on the streets. What incentive was there for me to take a lover?
But Kaeleer was different. Is different. Men seemed different here, at least. They serve, and they remember what that means. I met Uncle Saetan and Lucivar and the rest of the First Circle. I saw Daemon ease, find himself in his freedom, emerge from his madness.
There was an Erieyn. Falonar. He shared my bed the night after a fight, and with Uncle Saetan's permission, became my lover. He invited me to share his eriye. He was a warrior. Skilled and dangerous. And he made me feel...special.
But I wasn't what he wanted. Oh, the fact that I'd been a whore galled him sometimes, I think, but he enjoyed my skills well enough. It was my other skills that stuck in his throat. I was a competitor. I was skilled with a knife and as an assassin, I don't really give my prey a warning that I'm coming. Kind of defeats the purpose, wouldn't you say? Falonar was fine with a woman knowing how to use a weapon, but I'm a killer. It's what I do. And I wear darker Jewels than he does, so he had no hope of ever being stronger than me.
That's not so bad for most of our world, but he wanted someone to protect. Someone who needed him. Someone with...gentler talents than mine.
He couldn't say so, though. I am a Grey-Jeweled witch, skilled with a knife, and related to the Warlord Prince of Ebon Rih and the High Lord of Hell. He'd be a fool to cast me out, and he knew it. So I spared him that dilemma. I packed my bags and left. Went back to the Hall, and then to stay in Amdarh. Calmed my male relatives from hunting for his balls. Smiled and danced and went to the theatre and acted like nothing was wrong.
But it bruised a bit.
And I learned a valuable lesson.
I don't know that a romantic partner is something I'm looking for. Males are generally more trouble than they're worth. But if I come across one that seems likely, he'll need to be strong. Sure of himself. Not looking for a damsel in distress to protect. Understanding of my power and my skills. Someone worth spending my time and energy on who isn't going to go all growly male when I want to work on my skill with a blade.
Gotta tell you, sugar, I'm pretty sure all such specimens of manhood are taken.
