birthrightgreen: (Deadly)
birthrightgreen ([personal profile] birthrightgreen) wrote2006-06-01 02:30 pm
Entry tags:

Comfort

It's a welcome feeling when my fingers curl around the handle. Familiar. Comforting. I remember the first one she handed me, the first time I wielded it, trying to imitate her movements, jerky, off balance. I was frustrated. She was patient. It didn't help in the end, not really. She was still gone, though I carried it with me, the bone handle cutting deep into my palm where I clutched it too tightly. It was crude, that first weapon, and I couldn't call it to my hands when he bound them and held me down.

I was too stunned at the next. Too frightened of the one after. In too much pain with the fourth. But then came one, and my body was adjusting to what they did to it. It still hurt, but there was the ability to think under the pain, to hate. To rage. To call it in and wrap my hand around it and plunge it deep into his back until he bled as much as I did the first time.

There were others, and people learned. They talked. The plotted, but no one cared enough to stop me. Then he came and there was training and there were teachers. It became a dance in and of itself and separated from the basic needs of survival it became a release. Grace and beauty under the brutality of the movement. Anyone can watch a fencing match and see the beauty, but the grace in the movement of a smaller blade is often lost. Far too often it is used for only one thing, though there are some who can see the beauty in the patterns it can trace on skin as it slices it away. Precision in the cuts. A twist of the wrist. The sure knowledge that the thin blade has done damage no surgeon can repair, slicing a triangle in the heart that can't be stitched closed.

A beautiful instrument ornamented, decorative and deceptively harmless looking, but it delivers death, swift and sure. It's always with me, and there will be none who take what I'm not willing to give ever again.

[identity profile] sapphirewitch.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 03:15 am (UTC)(link)
But to have that option alone. Its daunting for someone who has never had the skills you posess Surreal. The ability to take care of yourself. To Defend Yourself from any and everyone you choose. Its a lot different than being scared all the time of everything.

[identity profile] birthrightgreen.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
The skill I possess with the knife is one I learned. I made it an option.

If you wish options, wish not to be scared, then you should see about learning what you wish to know.

[identity profile] sapphirewitch.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 03:31 am (UTC)(link)
*smiles* Lucivar has offered to teach me. It has become an option for me as well now. Though learning a new skill takes time. Sometimes you dont have enough.

[identity profile] birthrightgreen.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 03:52 am (UTC)(link)
*arches an eyebrow* Lucivar offered to teach you?

[identity profile] sapphirewitch.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 04:19 am (UTC)(link)
He did. I was quite surprised at the offer. I think Jaenelle put him up to it though. She said he always wants to throttle those who dont want to train with him. I'd much rather train than be throttled.

[identity profile] birthrightgreen.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
*slightly confused smile, but nods* He'd threaten...but he wouldn't dare.

[identity profile] sapphirewitch.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 04:30 am (UTC)(link)
I didnt realize that Eyriens made idle threats. I decided to take Jaenelle's word for it. *confused look* I would imagine the dunking in the nearest body of water is a threat as well?

[identity profile] birthrightgreen.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
*wry smile*

No, that would be fact, from what I've heard.

He's never tried it with me.

[identity profile] sapphirewitch.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 04:41 am (UTC)(link)
Oh .. *stifled laugh* Well I would think I would be wet all the time if that were the case. He seems awfully intimidating to me.

[identity profile] birthrightgreen.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
*snorts*

He's an arrogant Eryien male. He tries to intimidate everyone.

[identity profile] sapphirewitch.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 04:55 am (UTC)(link)
It doesn't seem as though many are all that intimidated by him. You seen indifferent. Jaenelle is snarly back at him. Daemon I dont think is afraid of anyone.

[identity profile] birthrightgreen.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 05:01 am (UTC)(link)
*shrugs*

I dealt with the Sadist for most of my life, sugar. One Eryien Warlord Prince is nothing.

[identity profile] sapphirewitch.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
*wide eyed look* Oh .. dear. Well. You seem to have survived knowing him for so long.

[identity profile] birthrightgreen.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 05:08 am (UTC)(link)
*smiles*

More than survived.

[identity profile] sapphirewitch.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 05:16 am (UTC)(link)
Thrived then. Definetely. Its been my pleasure to meet you.

[identity profile] birthrightgreen.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 05:18 am (UTC)(link)
*nods* I didn't catch your name...?

[identity profile] sapphirewitch.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 05:23 am (UTC)(link)
*soft smile* My name is Sienne. Formerly from Raej. I was.. traveling when I found Jaenelle. *Running more like it, I thought bitterly.*

[identity profile] birthrightgreen.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 02:38 pm (UTC)(link)
*smiles* Many were. It's a pleasure to meet you Sienne.

[identity profile] sapphirewitch.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 02:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Comfort can be found in many places and may different things I've found over the last few days. I have quite enjoyed meeting you Surreal. It has been highly instructive.

[identity profile] birthrightgreen.livejournal.com 2006-06-02 03:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I am glad to have been of assistance, then.

[identity profile] sapphirewitch.livejournal.com 2006-06-03 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
Thank You