Describe Your Worst Failure.

[birthrightgreen]

I couldn't save her. I tried to get there in time, but I wasn't listening hard enough. I should have gone as soon as I knew they'd taken her instead of waiting. I should have...as soon as I felt Sadi break the Black, I should have gone. Should have known.

But I was too late and they'd already done to her what should never be done to anyone, let alone a child. They'd taken her innocence. Shattered it. Shattered her. And not just with...they used something on her. Something that ripped her, and all I could see was blood.

I killed the man inside her, but the Uncles were coming and I didn't take the minute it would have taken to finish the kill. I left him there to make the transformation to demon dead and come after her again. I failed there, too.

Always finish the kill. I knew that. Sadi taught me that young, but I didn't. I left her, I left all of them, still in danger.

I wove a death trap for those who came after us into the altar. Tried to give Sadi time to do what needed doing. But even then, I couldn't hold them. There were too many. He couldn't go with them, because no one had time to show me how to do what needed doing with the candles. He had to hold together to do it, drained as he was already. Because I took too much time. Wasn't quiet enough. Made my kills too noisily. Whatever.

She shattered.

He shattered.

I couldn't stop it, and I couldn't fix it. All I could do was watch.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_deadlydance_/]

Surreal.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

...Rainier.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_deadlydance_/]

I just wanted to let you know that I am here.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

Oh.

Thank you.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_deadlydance_/]

I --

I didn't know that part of the story. At least not all of it. But I do know most of what came after, and it seems to me that is worth remembering.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

What's worth remembering about it?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_deadlydance_/]

You helped them both too, I do know that. Took care of him until he could come home. Helped them both heal. And I know how you helped Jaenelle recently.

That is worth remembering.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

I couldn't heal either of them. I just...I saw he was fed when he'd let me. Clean.

And nothing I did for Jaenelle makes up for that.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_deadlydance_/]

And that was exactly what he needed at the time. You took care of that.

You gave Jaenelle the love of all her life back -- her husband. Even if you can't heal the wounds of the past, you helped ensure there would be far less future ones.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

That's what he said...

I..I didn't...That's not..I didn't do anything.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_deadlydance_/]

I am going to have to disagree.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

That's your right.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_deadlydance_/]

I think most anyone I know would agree with me.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

Their right as well. They weren't there.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_deadlydance_/]

And you were. But it can work the other way as well. Maybe you are too close to see.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

Maybe.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_deadlydance_/]

At least that is not a definative no.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I have anything definitive in me right now.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_deadlydance_/]

Well, I know for one I can talk as long as you need me to.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

Why?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_deadlydance_/]

Because I'm your friend.

Because I like the way you dance.

Because you are not allowed to loose a single inch in the tilt of your chin.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

...Oh.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_deadlydance_/]

You asked for the reasons why.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

I did.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_deadlydance_/]

So you must have an opinion on my answers. You are the opinionated sort, after all.