When in your life did you know you were not alone?

[birthrightgreen]

Even after everything I'd been told, after Jaenelle's messages, after meeting the High Lord of Hell...even after all of that, a part of me still couldn't believe. I didn't believe travel like that was possible. And despite always being careful to finish the kill lest I run into one of my victims wanting revenge one day, I still didn't really believe in the demon-dead. Not that they were still themselves, still sentient, and living in the way that matters. Dead, but not gone.

Or mayhap I'd just hoped she'd been spared that. I think I thought it was bad, to make the transition to demon-dead instead of sliding into the Darkness. An in between world where they were trapped. Would you want to be consigned to live in Hell? (No offense, Uncle Saetan) At least, as I had heard the tales, the answer was no. No. I didn't care if only the strongest made the transition. The Darkness seemed preferable, and I wished that for her. That final peace instead of continuing agony.

When he told me what she was, that she was not only demon-dead but Queen of the Harpies, I struck out in denial and fury. She couldn't be. Not her. Not something so filled with hatred and rage. But harpies are witches who die violently by a man's hand, and that is what happened to her. To Titian.

The Hall is an odd amalgamation of the living and the demon-dead and a Guardian. Nowhere else does it exist. The dead are supposed to stay in the Dark Realm. They shouldn't keep following the ties of the living. But Saetan's sons, his friends, they still follow him, dead or not. And she was still there.

All those years, just a passage through a gate away. All those years, crying for her when no one could see. Missing her. Alone, save for Sadi and no matter how wonderful a friend he is, he's no substitute for a mother. For my mother.

I stood on the other side of the door, my hand resting there, feeling the pulse of the room, the power of the Black, of the Ebony, that seems to make the Hall breathe. My hands were shaking and I wasn't sure how to make the knob turn. In the end I had to use Craft. And there she sat, looking like I remembered her, only far more nervous. Fear still in her eyes, though perhaps of rejection not the horrors my father visited on her. A moment. Two. We stared at each other.

And then I was in her arms, and she was holding me and humming softly the songs she sang to me as a child. And for once, I wasn't alone.

Comments

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

"I can imagine." He laughed, wrapping his arms around her waist, snuggling up. "Well, but it is a joy to have the Realm and my family, so I try not to complain. Too much." Really.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

Her fingers ran through his hair softly. "They all love you very much."

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

"I know..." he said. Although his tone said he was relieved and grateful to hear her say it. "I love them all very much."

Which actually brought a frown to his face, his arms tightening a little around her waist. "Mike came by the other day for a visit. Said something... he asked if I was okay with him and his chosen fiance, Draco."

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

"Are you?" She hadn't met the young man, herself.

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

"He seems to make Mike happy," Sam smiled. "I've found nothing to object to so far."

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

"That's good," she said, relaxing the tension she'd let coil up inside.

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

His fingertips trailed up and down along her side. There was something more to say, but he wasn't sure what it was. Couldn't have been that important anyway.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

She tugged him up a bit more and kissed him softly, wrapping the leg around his waist there more firmly.

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

He kissed her back, fingertips tracing the line of her jaw, soft and tender.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

*I love you* Soft, wondering, still awed to say it. Her fingers traced down his back.

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

*I love you, too* He smiled shyly against her mouth, kissed her again. Snuggled up close, still struck with that funny, shy feeling. And how strange it feels to be shy again.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

She smiled back, kissing him. She traced back up his back, exploring muscle and bone with light touches.

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

He closed his eyes, snuggled into her. A quiet little sigh of relief, comfort. Contentment.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

She smiled more, nuzzling his jaw as she held him tighter.

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

"What are your plans for the next few days?" he murmured, eyes still closed. Almost purring at her touches.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

"There's a ball I should go to tomorrow night, but otherwise, no plans." She nipped his earlobe.

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

He shivered a little, made a pleased little noise. "Ooh? A grande affair?" Almost teasing, light, inquiring.

And maybe shyly edging for an invite. Or just teasing.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

She smiled. "Mildly grand. I have a new dress." Another nibble. "Do you have plans?"

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

"There's the wedding on the 12th, my grandson's..."

We pause while Sam does not squee at the saying of "my grandson" because he is more dignified than that, of course.

"...birthday nominally the next day. Other than that, no plans at all."

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

The dates of the month aren't something that she's quite managed to learn in his world, but she nods knowledgably. "So you're free tomorrow night?"

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

He uses dates because he constantly loses track of what day it is.

As a consequence, he had to think about that one.

"Yes." Sheepish smile.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

"Would you like to escort me to the ball?" She smiled back, a touch shy. Not used to asking.

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

"I would be honored."

He's not really in a position to bow over her hand or kneel before her or anything. But he wriggles around so that he can bring her hand to his lips anyway.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

She chuckled at the wriggling, brushing fingers through his hair. "I'm glad."

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

He smiled, snuggled up again. "Besides, I love to watch you work a crowd." It was innocent and darkly amused all at once. Innocuous from anyone else, except that they were discussing manipulation and gathering of secrets.