When in your life did you know you were not alone?

[birthrightgreen]

Even after everything I'd been told, after Jaenelle's messages, after meeting the High Lord of Hell...even after all of that, a part of me still couldn't believe. I didn't believe travel like that was possible. And despite always being careful to finish the kill lest I run into one of my victims wanting revenge one day, I still didn't really believe in the demon-dead. Not that they were still themselves, still sentient, and living in the way that matters. Dead, but not gone.

Or mayhap I'd just hoped she'd been spared that. I think I thought it was bad, to make the transition to demon-dead instead of sliding into the Darkness. An in between world where they were trapped. Would you want to be consigned to live in Hell? (No offense, Uncle Saetan) At least, as I had heard the tales, the answer was no. No. I didn't care if only the strongest made the transition. The Darkness seemed preferable, and I wished that for her. That final peace instead of continuing agony.

When he told me what she was, that she was not only demon-dead but Queen of the Harpies, I struck out in denial and fury. She couldn't be. Not her. Not something so filled with hatred and rage. But harpies are witches who die violently by a man's hand, and that is what happened to her. To Titian.

The Hall is an odd amalgamation of the living and the demon-dead and a Guardian. Nowhere else does it exist. The dead are supposed to stay in the Dark Realm. They shouldn't keep following the ties of the living. But Saetan's sons, his friends, they still follow him, dead or not. And she was still there.

All those years, just a passage through a gate away. All those years, crying for her when no one could see. Missing her. Alone, save for Sadi and no matter how wonderful a friend he is, he's no substitute for a mother. For my mother.

I stood on the other side of the door, my hand resting there, feeling the pulse of the room, the power of the Black, of the Ebony, that seems to make the Hall breathe. My hands were shaking and I wasn't sure how to make the knob turn. In the end I had to use Craft. And there she sat, looking like I remembered her, only far more nervous. Fear still in her eyes, though perhaps of rejection not the horrors my father visited on her. A moment. Two. We stared at each other.

And then I was in her arms, and she was holding me and humming softly the songs she sang to me as a child. And for once, I wasn't alone.

Comments

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

He traced his fingertips over her other hip, soft and easy, smiling.

"How has your work been?"

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

She shivered a little, smiled. "It's been slow on the helpful end. Am working on getting established. Meeting people. Carving a niche."

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

"Getting a solid foundation." He kissed her hip again. "Well, that would take some time, I'd imagine. Progress, anyway." Smiling. Half-teasing. "That's good, right?"

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

"It's good," she agreed, stroking his hair and shifting her legs a bit to curl around his back, foot stroking up and down his spine.

"How have you been?"

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

He stretched a little, purring softly at the touch.

"I've been all right. A little busy, taking care of... well, administrative things, at home." He wrinkled his nose. "Too many damn duties."

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

She chuckled low in her throat, continuing the stroking. "What sort of duties?"

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

He wrinkled his nose, an expression at odds with the contented noise he made.

"Negotiating minor disputes in the town, handling census, helping out in the Workshop. Making sure the animals and people in the fields and forest are healthy and taken care of."

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

She smiled slightly. "Being Steward for your home."

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

"Essentially, yes." He smiled. "Keeps things tidy."

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

"But you don't enjoy it?" Curiosity in her voice and eyes.

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

"I do, overall," he shrugged a little, gave a rueful chuckle. "I could do without the busy-work, the paperwork. Even in the Realm, there is a plentitude of that."

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

She smiled, scooting down a bit. "That was what I did appreciate about my old line of work. Paperwork wasn't really....appreciated."

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

"I can imagine." He laughed, wrapping his arms around her waist, snuggling up. "Well, but it is a joy to have the Realm and my family, so I try not to complain. Too much." Really.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

Her fingers ran through his hair softly. "They all love you very much."

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

"I know..." he said. Although his tone said he was relieved and grateful to hear her say it. "I love them all very much."

Which actually brought a frown to his face, his arms tightening a little around her waist. "Mike came by the other day for a visit. Said something... he asked if I was okay with him and his chosen fiance, Draco."

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

"Are you?" She hadn't met the young man, herself.

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

"He seems to make Mike happy," Sam smiled. "I've found nothing to object to so far."

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

"That's good," she said, relaxing the tension she'd let coil up inside.

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

His fingertips trailed up and down along her side. There was something more to say, but he wasn't sure what it was. Couldn't have been that important anyway.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

She tugged him up a bit more and kissed him softly, wrapping the leg around his waist there more firmly.

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

He kissed her back, fingertips tracing the line of her jaw, soft and tender.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

*I love you* Soft, wondering, still awed to say it. Her fingers traced down his back.

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

*I love you, too* He smiled shyly against her mouth, kissed her again. Snuggled up close, still struck with that funny, shy feeling. And how strange it feels to be shy again.

[birthrightgreen.livejournal.com]

She smiled back, kissing him. She traced back up his back, exploring muscle and bone with light touches.

[oldestbeloved.livejournal.com]

He closed his eyes, snuggled into her. A quiet little sigh of relief, comfort. Contentment.