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For Samael
Apr. 6th, 2006 08:23 amShe was pacing. She'd been pacing. Ladies had made them stop talking, and it needed to be talked about. Or not. It could just be ignored, really. They didn't have to talk about it.
It probably was too soon. It had only been a few months of just them. They hadn't even moved in together, though they didn't really spend that much time apart, shifting back and forth between the two.
But this? This was big. This was life changing. This was...someone would have to move, probably. And her family might...Mother Night and may the Darkness be merciful. There'd be flailing. Would they let her leave? Would they trust him to protect her while she was vulnerable? Or would Daemon go all...things hadn't really gone well between he and Sam after all.
Was she even ready to be a mother?
Could she be? All those years of whoring and she'd never gotten pregnant and protection wasn't full proof and most whores did at some point.
Had there been too much damage, from too much...from how young she'd been? She'd heard of such. Witches speared too young who were never able to conceive.
The thought that it might be the case caused a shot of pain she wouldn't have expected. Whores didn't want children. But she wasn't a whore anymore. And the thought of holding a daughter--or son--of her own made her glow with a warmth she hadn't ever felt before. Longing, sharp and making her breath catch with how strong the craving was.
She nibbled on her lip, then grabbed a nutcake from the plate of them she'd coaxed Manny to make while she was here. That was better to nibble on, even if she wasn't hungry. She shifted to the window, watching for him, trying to ignore the clenching in her stomach.
It probably was too soon. It had only been a few months of just them. They hadn't even moved in together, though they didn't really spend that much time apart, shifting back and forth between the two.
But this? This was big. This was life changing. This was...someone would have to move, probably. And her family might...Mother Night and may the Darkness be merciful. There'd be flailing. Would they let her leave? Would they trust him to protect her while she was vulnerable? Or would Daemon go all...things hadn't really gone well between he and Sam after all.
Was she even ready to be a mother?
Could she be? All those years of whoring and she'd never gotten pregnant and protection wasn't full proof and most whores did at some point.
Had there been too much damage, from too much...from how young she'd been? She'd heard of such. Witches speared too young who were never able to conceive.
The thought that it might be the case caused a shot of pain she wouldn't have expected. Whores didn't want children. But she wasn't a whore anymore. And the thought of holding a daughter--or son--of her own made her glow with a warmth she hadn't ever felt before. Longing, sharp and making her breath catch with how strong the craving was.
She nibbled on her lip, then grabbed a nutcake from the plate of them she'd coaxed Manny to make while she was here. That was better to nibble on, even if she wasn't hungry. She shifted to the window, watching for him, trying to ignore the clenching in her stomach.
