birthrightgreen: (With Baby)
[personal profile] birthrightgreen
She's so tiny. The thought keeps flying around in my brain, when I touch her. She's learning to grasp hold of things, but slowly, still catching up from her early birth, and her fingers are so very small. The skin over them feels as thin as paper some days. Morghann keeps telling me she's healthy. She's fine. She's eating, and she's growing, and just the other day she smiled at me for the first time.

The smile, that small gesture of recognition, felt like a knife through my heart. It was so sweet. So...innocent, and innocence is not something I've any experience with. There is so much out there in the world ready and willing to harm her, and she has no defenses of her own. Just me and Samael standing between her and the world.

I know too well what the world is capable of. I know the darkness that lurks in the hearts of too many men. I know how easily a blade can pierce flesh. I know the color of blood, the stains it makes inside and out, the ones that will never come out. I know pain from both sides.

And there she lies, perfect, but so fragile. So easily harmed, so easily lost in just a moment, a fragment of time.

I am not one to give in to fear, to let it take control for more than second. I've fought it all my life until I became the thing to fear in the night.

But when I look at her, when she smiles at me, I am terrified.
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March 2009

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